Life is full of choices—some big, some small, but each one significant in its own way. We often make decisions based on what we want in the moment, but when we step back and reflect, we realize that our choices are shaped by deeper forces. Desires, which arise from our emotions and immediate needs, can propel us forward, but values, which reflect our core beliefs and long-term purpose, provide the guidance we need to navigate life’s complexities.
There’s a moment in The Matrix that beautifully captures this dynamic between desire and values, and it’s always resonated with me. In a conversation between Neo and the Oracle, we get a glimpse into how choices are often not about finding the perfect answer, but about understanding the forces that guide us. The Oracle’s wisdom speaks to the heart of our journey:
Neo: “I don’t understand. What’s the right choice?”
Oracle: “You’ve already made the choice, Neo. You’re just here to understand why you made it.”
Neo: “But how do I know if it’s the right one?”
Oracle: “The right choice isn’t about certainty. It’s about understanding that you can’t know everything up front. The choice you made leads you to the lessons you need to learn.”
Neo: “So, it’s not about making the perfect choice?”
Oracle: “No. It’s about making a choice, learning from it, and growing. Every path teaches you something. The question is not whether it’s right or wrong—but whether you’re willing to trust yourself to take it.”
Neo: “I think I get it now. It’s about accepting the uncertainty and trusting where it leads.”
Oracle: “Exactly. You’ve already made the choice, Neo. Now, you just need to understand why you did.”
This scene resonates deeply because, in many ways, it mirrors our own lives.
When I look back on my journey, I see a series of choices — some clear, others filled with uncertainty. Yet, when I really think about it, these choices were not random. They were shaped by an interplay of desires and values.
Desires: The Urges That Drive Us
We all have desires—drives, wants, and needs—that shape our paths. Early in my life, I had a burning desire to rise above the poverty that defined my beginnings. This yearning for freedom pushed me to achieve more, to escape the limitations I saw around me, and to seek opportunities that would create a better life for myself and my family. The desire for love and connection led me to my wife, and the desire for purpose took me on a journey to seek fulfillment in my career, one that would not only provide material success but also meaning.
Desires often arise from emotional needs or immediate goals: the desire for financial security, the craving for recognition, the drive to love and be loved. These desires are compelling—they push us toward action, even when the future is uncertain. They guide our decisions, whether it’s choosing a career, starting a family, or pursuing an adventure. In some cases, desires can even outweigh logic, pushing us to take risks or make sacrifices.
Values: The Principles That Grounds Us
But while desires drive us, values guide us. Our values are our inner compass—those deeper beliefs about what is truly important in life. My father, raised in hardship, instilled in me the value of hard work and integrity. Over the years, my values have expanded to include a deep respect for growth, continuous improvement, and a commitment to helping others.
Whereas desires are often fleeting, values are what provide long-term direction. They shape the decisions we make when we are no longer driven by immediate urges but are considering our long-term purpose. In my career, I made decisions that weren’t always the easiest but were grounded in my values of integrity, discipline, and the drive to contribute to something greater than myself.
Values can often push us toward decisions that might seem difficult or unconventional in the moment but are aligned with our deeper sense of purpose. They help us navigate through life’s challenges and guide us toward goals that, while not immediately gratifying, will lead to fulfillment in the long run.
The Balance Between Desire and Values
When we look back on the choices we’ve made, it’s easy to see them as isolated decisions, each made in response to a specific desire or circumstance. However, when we take a step back, we realize that our choices are often driven by a mixture of desires—those immediate urges—and values—our deeper guiding principles.
Every choice we make, whether it’s about career, relationships, or personal growth, is shaped by a combination of what we want in the moment and what we believe is right for us in the long run. Understanding this balance—recognizing when our desires are guiding us and when our values are leading the way—can provide us with clarity and purpose as we continue to move forward.
My Guiding Principles
Spiritual
- Living this life according to the purpose for which I am created (Colossians 1:16)
- Walking in faith, not by sight, acknowledging God’s sovereignty (2 Corinthians 5:7)
- Confident in eternal life through Jesus Christ (Romans 8:1)
- Boldly sharing the good news, knowing its power to transform lives (Romans 1:16)
Physical
- My body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, and I will care for it. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
- Protecting my health and future through wise stewardship. (Proverbs 3:7-8)
- Free from harmful habits, choosing discipline and self-control. (Titus 2:11-12)
Emotional
- Loving my family with Christ as the center. (Colossians 3:14)
- Protecting them with my life and cherishing them with my time. (Ephesians 6:4)
Intellectual
- Approaching destiny with the right mindset. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
- Beginning with the end in mind. (Jeremiah 29:11)
- Prioritizing what truly matters. (Matthew 6:33)
- Breaking limits, knowing that what I believe shapes who I become. (Romans 12:2)
Financial
- Mastering my finances, not being mastered by them. (1 Tim 6:10)
- Stewarding resources responsibly. (Luke 16:11)
- Building assets that sustain and support growth. (Proverbs 24:3-4)
- Embracing wise use of resources, keeping long-term goals in mind. (Proverbs 21:5)
- Following the principle: Income – Joyful Giving – Saving = Expenses as a foundation for growth. (2 Corinthians 9:7)
Putting It All Together
In the end, it’s not about having every answer, but about living with intention. Desires give us the energy to move forward, but it is our values that give us direction. When these two are aligned, we walk the path of purpose — not because it’s free of challenges, but because it’s rich with meaning.
So, as we face each new day, let’s embrace the tension between desire and discipline, between ambition and alignment. Let’s welcome the lessons hidden in detours and delays, knowing that even when the road twists, our values remain our compass.
We may not control every outcome, but we can choose to live faithfully and purposefully, trusting that the life we build is shaped not by perfection, but by the courage to keep moving forward — heart aligned, eyes lifted, and spirit steadfast.
Engaged 